he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
