if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
