Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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