My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
