why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
