I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
