is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
