Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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