Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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