nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
