If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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