Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
