We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
