why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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