She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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