Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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