i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
