dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
