He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
