I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
