I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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