I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
