He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
