Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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