my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
