she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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