kristin has been a bad kristin
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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