yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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