dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
