You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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