Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
