3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
