his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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