The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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