Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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