CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
