if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't deserve a penis
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
