Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
