Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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