he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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