that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
