I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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