i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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