Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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