I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
