i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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