Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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