Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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