Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
