dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
