Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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